Why would anyone want to start an online Internet business with the sole purpose of failing?

I don’t think anyone would, then again…

…so many people do fail in such a majestic manner, you have to wonder if it was a conscience effort.

Ok, of course it wasn’t, but it’s easy to get sucked into every guru out there trying to point you in the right direction.

So, let’s have a little fun.

Here are some sure-fire ways to run a horrible online business….

Spam People

Definitely top of the list of things that not only has you looking like an unprofessional idiot, but will probably have you dropped from your current email provider…or worse.

There are groups online that will sell you 20 million emails…you just need to buy the list and start emailing away! Nothing will help you fail faster than random emails with no foundation or relationship.

Only email to legitimate prospects or, better yet, stick to only mailing to a confirmed, double-opt in, list of people that have signed up to get your messages.

Look…NEW Shiny Object

If you want to keep running a poor Internet business, try and sell people on whatever the latest shiny object is on the market…as opposed to something they could really use.

If they signed up on your list to receive information about hair care products, stop sending them crap on how to get better gas mileage.

Send people only information they requested from the very beginning. If you are going to introduce something else, you better have a good reason.

I Have 2.8 Million PLR Reports

“PLR” stands for “private label rights.” Typically these come in bundles and are offered to Internet marketers almost weekly.

The idea is that you buy the report and you then have permission to re-write, make it your own and sell it to the next person. Many packages include websites and a low price point…making the deal look pretty attractive.

The fact of the matter is that most PLR’s are very poorly written, have more than been around the block, and only make money for those people selling them.

Pick up some PLR’s for a great price on graphics or “research” for something you are going to actually write. Other than that, don’t waste your time.

Always be Selling

Ever heard of the “Information Age?” – figured you have. People now more than ever are looking for more and more information.

And guess what?

Most of it is FREE!

So, when you come along with a loud, hard selling email, website, and video…well…customers will just run away as fast as they can.

No one likes to be sold all the time and there are some great ways to sell your product without seeming like your are selling!

Here is something you need to know….

…if you educate people…up front…and they like what they see…they will buy from you.

And don’t make shit up!

I hate it when I see completely unsubstantiated claims. “You will make a millions dollars in the first 32 minutes!”

The more unbelievable the claim…the lamer the product probably is.

Get a Free Website and Email

Want to really look like you don’t have a clue in your Internet business? Snag one of those “free” websites offered online.

Forget about the fact that you will have next to zero SEO (ie no one will find you online) you just look like an amateur.

You can get a kick-ass looking website built for under $500 (well under depending on what you are doing). So don’t settle for the Internet hosting companies “freebies.”

Oh, and your email…

Since we are trying to look like a complete buffoon in this online business, lets make sure your email is as unprofessional as possible.

Iloveunicorns@aol.com is good.
Baxter48302820038@gmail.com works nicely.
Skippyandmartha@hotmail.net should do the trick.

What you want is: Name@YourDomain.com

You would think running a failing Internet business would be hard…but stick to the list above and you should be failing fast.

Want your Internet endeavor to actually succeed?

Contact me for a free consulting session. That wasn’t hard..was it?